it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
