I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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