you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
