? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
