my mouth tastes like poor choices
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
