isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
