I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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