She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
