Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
