"it" just moved
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
