You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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