I hope mine doesn't look like that
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
