who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
