She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
