coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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