He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
