I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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