I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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