just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
