If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
