I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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