JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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