My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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