And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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