Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
