youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think my nap took me to another dimension
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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