Fuck appropriateness.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
