Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
