I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Let's paint friendship bongs
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
