We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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