i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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