Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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