we have officially lost it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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