we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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