I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
