it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
