i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
