You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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