Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
