Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
