is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
