69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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