What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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