Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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