she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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