my sisters under your porch take her home
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
