i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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