I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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