Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
