he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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