My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
