where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
