Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
did you just send me my own nude
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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