i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
