I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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